sententias via sarah...

3:45pm: The U.N. votes for simple.
>Hi all,
>
>I have signed an online petition, please help to say
>NO to United Nations' abolishment of Traditional
>Chinese in 2008.
>
>Please help support this cause by clicking on
>the link below and following the instructions.
>
>http://www.gopetition.com/region/237/8314.html
>
>Thanks,

3:35pm: Great Article
Skepchicks. It's okay that they stole my tagline "Smart is Sexy" (NerdyHot Inc.) ...because it seems like an interesting endeavor.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060416/sc_space/meettheskepchicks

6:02pm: "Teacher Sarah, do you like Taiwan?"

Learning about Picasso at Bei Chung in LoTong March 2006...I spend about 8 hours a week teaching kids at Bei Chung. These kids asked me to autograph their English textbooks after class. 5 seconds of fame...how fun!

6:14pm: Learn Chinese on your iPod
http://www.chinesepod.com/

6:08pm: Real Personality Test
Fun test... get some direct (and anonymous feedback from people you know.)

http://realpersonality.com/
my username = supersarah (to evaluate)
my access word = sarah (to see the results)

1:43am: more on this stuff via buddy from home
http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html

12:48am: Art in TaiZhong

Nat'l Taipei Museum of Art Contemplative Buddha outside the NTMofA in TaiZhong. Great exhibit.

12:46am: Adventures in Taiwanese shoe shopping

TaiZhong Shoe shopping for Jules. How many Fulbrighters does it take to make a pair of size 7's into a pair of size 9.5's? Shopping in Taiwan can be a rather disheartening experience for people who aren't part midget/string bean skinny/or particularly small of feet. As you can see, Jules has a fantastic attitude about the lack of women's shoes bigger than a size 7 1/2. Hey Jules, how about sandals?

12:42am: More Resport Pics

	MiaoLi Fulbright Soup
	MiaoLi The hot springs.

12:37am: Sarah & Julianna Soup

MiaoLi Human soup bowls at the TaiAn hot springs resort.

12:33am: Hot Springs on TaiAn Mountain

MiaoLi_ Jules, Mary and I took a train to TaiZhong, the 2nd most populaous city in Taiwan. Then, another 2 hour train to the city of MiaoLi to visit my cousin Yong Yuan and her family. From the city of MIaoLi, we rented a taxi for the 40 minute ride up the TaiAn Mountain to the resort, passing strawberry fields and wild Poinsettia trees along the way. My cousin hooked us up with passes to the hot springs resort that she and her husband invested in. It was incredibly luxurious! It was an awesome way to start out our Winter Breaks.

11:55pm: Massage beds.

MiaoLi Massage beds in super hot natural spring water. Big time oye vey.

5:41pm:

My hair rocks. Don't mess with me. Strange to watch my first and only niece grow via babyblog. Can't wait to meet the little cutie.

6:02pm:

Cheeky My niece. Those cheeks are asking for it.

9:39am: Getting into gear.
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!
-Goethe

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
-William Hutchinson Murray

12:44am: Fear of success
Our deepest fear is not...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not in just some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson , in Return to Love
------------------------

There's a bit about God in this writing. Many of you know that religion or G/god isn't really my thing. Actually, I have interpreted this excerpt in a very non-religious, free-will kind of way.

Anyway, I know I have had a conversation with many of you about this, particularly my women friends... the fear of success. (Just to be clear, this is different from, but related to the fear of failure - which, strangely enough, I express much less of. I know this makes me sound cocky or overly confident and I know that these two concepts may not seem to co-exist very well, but they do in my case. I think this comes from an ability to be pretty clear and honest about what I can accomplish. Actually, it is this very clarity about my own abilities that makes 'fear of success'much more relevant to me than the 'fear of failure.' Still following? At least for this entry, I am focusing on the the success bit, not the failure or the relationship of the two. No directly anyway.)

We have talked about the challenges of embracing both strength and sensitivity, smarts and silliness - the many contradictions that we face as independent women today. At least for me, this particular personal fear - the fear of success and even more, public recognition for success, has been tough for me to get my head around.

I have tried to intellectualize this puzzle, even psychoanalyze myself. What is the deal? It is a combination of culture, gender, and family history? I don't know, maybe. Is it a larger dilemma that faces the 'modern women'? I really don't know. What I do know at this point is that I don't really care where 'it' comes from.

In the (very recent) past, I have found myself pushing to achieve a goal with everything I have, then stopping right before achieving the ultimate prize. I settle. Sometimes, I will settle for second or third place. And when I recognize that I do need to suck it up and get something, many times, I shy away from the applause in the end. I am truly uncomfortable with it. I end up feeling guilty for standing out, for looking better or smarter. I let others pass me and I cheer for them.Making other people feel bad because I have won is agonizing. I have done this even, maybe even especially, when I know I can get first prize. Worst of all, there are times when I lower my expectations, lower my goals- to ensure that I win, but not too much.

Here is my confession: I have done this in the professional arena, with volunteer projects and even in the personal arena with romantic relationships. I have told myself, as long as I know that I could have gotten it or him, that's enough. I have told people, I am not competitive with others, but that I am just fiercely competitive with myself. I have made excuses.


The truth is, I have been serving myself a serious load of b.s. for quite some time. I am damn competitive, with myself, with everyone. The truth is that I really hate to lose- to men, women, old, young, anyone, best friend or stranger. Then, why in the hell am I so scared of winning at the same time? I think about all the things I have accomplished, big and small, and how very little I let myself enjoy those precious moments at the finish line. I realize how much time I have spent worrying about bolstering the self-esteem of everyone around me when I too deserved some credit. I realize the obstacles I created (sometimes out of thin air) just to feel better about a situation that was going 'too' well. I made conscious decisions to get in my own way.

I haven't included all my thoughts here. Certainly, many thoughts and stories that have been purposely censored due to the very public nature of this forum. However, I am seriously looking forward to future conversations on this topic. I look forward to having those conversations with some different insight. This little excerpt clarified some things. Well, it told me that this was not an altogether foreign feeling, that it could be common. Oh, get off your high horse, everyone needs a bit of validation now and then! Cheesy as it may be. It's not really what you read or see or hear sometimes, but when. This happened to be just the right piece of cheese I wanted to come across. So, I am cheesy. (Then, I want to be cheesiest of all. ha)

What now? Now, the real challenge. To shoot for what I am really capable of all of the time, get exactly what I aim for, and bask in the glory of hard-earned victory. That's my goal. This is so much easier to say than do. (For me, at least.) Dear friends, please feel very free to help me keep to it. Yours very truly, S.

6:38pm: KenTing Beach

KenTing beach Beautiful beaches...this was also the view from my hotel room. Such a beautiful place to hold a conference ;-D Wise choice Dr. Wu!

5:36pm:

Beach! Southern tip of Taiwan Mid-term conference in KenTing, Taiwan...we stayed at posh hotels, played on the beach, ate very, very well and (oh yes) presented our work for this past semester!With the fabulous Fulbright ladies of Taipei and I-Lan. It was absolutely gorgeous to be in sunny weather...especially after months of rain and cold on the northeast coast. Happy New Year! Happy Year of the Dog!

1:44am: KenTing Pics

	Hiking? Questionably. Taiwan hiking is usually something closer to leisurely stroll, but it was an opportunity to chat.		18-wheels baby. Touch Your Heart... Taiwan's official tourist logo. Hmmm...
	Me and Jules in KenTing. The vistapoint after our "hike"was a 360 view of the National Park. Mountains, oceans and everything in between.		KenTing Napping on the beach.
	Fishing Seafood is a staple of southern Taiwanese cuisine. We certainly had our share of it during the conference.		KenTing President Nixon? Sir, is that you?
	KenTing View from our hotel!
			Stanley Ekul I had a pet turtle years ago named Stanley Ekul. He was cute. This enormous turtle shaped rock made me think of good old Stanley.

6:44pm: Favorite Law Professor from Texas.

My fav. Fulbright Prof. Law Professor from South Texas School of Law. Had us laughing the whole 8 hour ride to and from KenTing. Not good, but great teacher here. His presentation was hilrious...if you can't see the slide, it says "Adjusting to a New Academic CUlture" of his adjustment to teaching at National Taiwan University.

6:46pm: Fulbright Families

Fulbright families Hands down cutest Fulbright baby. He cried every time I tried to hold him...this made me very sad! There are several Fulbrighters here with families... but most of us are free (I mean single.)

6:47pm:

My Ilan Univ. Seminar Group Aren't they cute? We watch films and then talk about them in this seminar. I love teaching this casual class. I made Christmas cards for my "family". One of the ice-breakers was to create a family crest. We used a Ching Dynasty coin and wrote the words "Ke Yong Ai Yuan" or "We Love Ke Yong Forever." (Ke Yong is my Chinese name) Though I was slightly unforcomtable with thie name, it was too cute to be self-conscious about! Most of my group are freshman and sophomores at NIU.

11:55pm: Quick Update
Hi Folks,

Thanks for all your emails and e-cards, especially over Thanksgiving.
I have much to be thankful for, good friends are definitely at the top of the list.

I have been pretty swamped in the last few weeks mostly due to a Community English class I am teaching in my farming village. The classes will only last for 5 weeks (twice a week) and I'm already 80% done. The first night, there were 35 people sitting in front of me, half rugrats that I teach during the day and the other half were parents of the rugrats. There are also 5 guys in their early twenties who have come religiously. The other teachers at school think it is because they like to "look at the cute Chinese-American teacher." I disagree and believe they truly want to improve their Engrish.

It seems like five more people come every time we meet. It's starting to get a little crowded!

(*Sidenote: What is an army guy? The Taiwanese have mandatory military service for all able young men. They can choose from a variety of different posts including an education post. This means they spend one year or ten months living at a public school doing anything from weeding plants to crosswalk watch during peak rugrat hours. Some army dudes work with the train station or guard the national government offices. I'm not sure how the selection process works, I'm sure there is segmentation based on the army examination. Anyway, the army guy who lives above the art classroom is named Leo. He was born and raised in Taipei and he thinks that Yilan county is the "countryside." He's entertaining, but I often feel quite old talking to him. Afterall, I am a whopping 3 years older than him and he just graduated from college for goodness sakes. [Side-side note: There is an exam for everything here.])

So, the classes have been really tough. I mean, how do I teach a foreign language to a room full of adults who don't even know their ABC's, 9 year-olds who are reading Harry Potter in English, and a gaggle of college boys? Oye! When I get back to the States, I am seriously inclined to meet up with old teachers/professors and just thank them... not least of all, my parents. A teacher friend told me that running a language class combines three professions: artist (more like crafty stuff maker), performer (actor - shit!), and psychologist.

Well, she was right. Arts and crafts I can do. Psychologist, maybe - although my experiences to date have pretty much involved bad boyfriends, break-ups with bad boyfriends, and assorted yuppy drama. But, I get it... students are people too! Novel. Acting on the other hand, performing rather - just doesn't come naturally to me. At least, not in front of a room of expecting eyeballs.

Needless to say, I've been working my tail off trying to act, craft and arm-chair psychologize my half a hundred students. Here are some lesson plan highlights... some, I would modify more than others if I ever taught them again. I should mention though... I have been having an absolute blast. Complaints aside (well, these aren't complaints are they? I hate complainers.), I really love teaching. (Usually, the tougher the project, the more I love it.) I love my students too, that helps.

* MUSIC MADNESS - I picked 10 broad musical genres. I picked one or two songs to represent each musical genre. I used music to teach preferences...liking something, disliking something, preferring one thing to another, and favorites. I hd everyone vote yes/no for each song, then vote for their favorite. Here are some of the results! The mommies loved Classical or Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata most of all, go figure. The older boys loved Hip Hop or Common & 2Pac. THe younger kids, hands down, loved Rock or Queen's We Will Rock You. It was stomach-aching hilarious to see the reactions of the rugrats to Country Western! I chose Dolly Parton and Hank Williams, maybe that's why.

* PICASSO PORTRAITS - I used Picasso's paintings to teach colors and shapes. First, I used a power point presentation to talk about Picasso's life and works. Mostly, I used paintings from his cubist period. We then attempted to make self-portraits in Picasso's cubist style. We used oil pastels and black paper. The results were astonishing, in a good way. Kids are truly amazing and capable of so much more than we give them credit for. I played Mozart in the background during self-portrait painting time.

* AROUND THE WORLD IN 40 MINUTES - To talk about transportation and to learn a little about other countries of the world, we all took a trip around the world. We started in Taiwan, then flew to the United States to bicycle across the Golden Gate Bridge (which I actually haven't done yet, but would really like to!), then we flew to Costa Rica for a motorcycle ride through San Jose (where I once lived as a rugrat myself), then we flew to Brazil where we went hot air ballooning (don't know if Brazilians actually do this or not--hee), then we flew to Kenya to ride in trucks and jeeps, then we flew to Japan to ride in subways and bullet trains, and finally we ended up in Italy to ride Gondolas in Venice and ate pizza. I made little flags for each group of tables and the kids (arms outstretched) literally flew from country to country. This was seriously a blast and most importantly, I think they learned a few things without really thinking about it. (I am going to love playing with my new niece when I get home.)

* DANGEROUS DINOSAURS - I showed scary photos of dinosaurs to teach about parts of the body for humans (and animals, thus the inclusion of vocabulary words such as tail and claw). The boys went nuts. We then tried (I tried and failed) to sculpt a dinosour out of clay and chopsticks. While my kiddies molded miraculous looking creatures, I ended up with what eventually became a large dinosour egg, a gorgeous looking egg. Hey, I was busy teaching.

This next week... we're going to talk about holidays and rooms of a house. We'll be making Gingerbread Homes out of...rice crackers I guess?

Bye for now... and if you have any ideas for any of my upcoming performances, please let me know. I'll be eternally grateful and so will the rugrats. All in classrooms stuff aside, life has been really great. I went to a wedding party this past saturday night and had some amazing seafood. I have been learning quite a lot about the education system here, how schools operate and what teachers think about the current President. (More on Taiwan politics in a future post) I continue to carry on a torrid love affair with my scooter and yet, have managed to control my crush on the guy at the barista coffee shop enough to keep interactions at a harmless flirtation.

Okay, that's all from Taiwan. Lots of love during to you and family during the holidays!

6:31pm:

Teaching Picasso to kiddies I used Pablo Picasso paintings to teach colors, shapes, and parts of the face. We studied Picasso's portraits then tried to mimick his cubist style. Here I am demonstrating a cubist self-portrait to my kiddies.

10:32am: Routines
Going into month four of living in Lotong, Taiwan means that routines are are taking hold and not slowly either. I just looked at my calendar and list of things to do and the items left to be checked off just keep growing. Contrary to my (idealistic) hopes of keeping life to the bare bones basics of eating, sleeping, exploring and (oh yes) researching, I wanted to leave behind the madness of my too-many-balls-to-juggle life back in San Francisco. The only problem is I didn't leave myself behind. Bad plan.

From morning to night, once exciting adventures such as finding breakfast or driving my scooter on the highway or taking out the trash are now mundance activities that are simply a means to an end. It's really a bit sad to think about it actually. Friends, I think my honeymoon with Formosa is over.

One of the best things about living abroad are those few weeks; delighting in the smallest of tasks like children. OOh look at all those weird things on the menu! Ooh feel the wind in your hair as you break 70 on your scooter for the first time. Ooh listen, they are playing Beethoven on the trash truck. Now that I have stuff to get done, deadlines to meet, people to tutor, dinners and meetings (oye), taking the trash out isn't so much fun anymore. Hmmmpf. I'm back to skipping breakfast on most days and even when I'm driving to school, I forget to think about how beautiful the scenery is around me.

This morning, I didn't even think about the route and just arrived at school in a blink. It was strange. I even knew the exact moment to start breathing through my mouth because the smell of fertilizer (pig poo) in San Shing is overwhelming. I sound depressing, but all this routine doesn't necessarily make for the end of good things to know and see. It's just a challenge to find ways to change things up... perhaps a different route to school or another breakfast place or well... the garbage is still going to be just garbage.

Thanks to those of you for your letters and cards. Tootles.